SUICIDE

The first thing I want to say is that I loved Osvaldo Acosta with all my heart, I wanted to grow old and grey, see our grand kids and die together.  I know, the word "suicide" can clear a room or silence it in a second, it is not a very easy subject to talk about.  My late husband killed himself in 2010, a month after our 15 yr. wedding anniversary, he was 50 and I 37.  It has been the hardest thing to deal with, since I was the one that found him. 

Trust me this isn't easy for me to write, it has taken me about 2 years to admit he even committed suicide, people ask me how he died and I say it was an "accident".  It was much easier and less painful than explaining the whole story and reliving it.  

Osvaldo, without going into details of what lead up to his death, had psychological problems which only escalated in the last 2 years of his life.  He was a very loving person, who needed help of which now I know only a professional could of given him.  As a wife, I thought I would be able to fix him but seeing him spiral out of control I sought help but he didn't want it.  I found him dead in our backyard, my life as of then will no longer be the same. 

Nothing will ever be the same for me, nothing.