Substance Dependency

Substance dependency can cause so much damage, to the abuser and the friends and family surrounding them.  Reading some studies, it seems it is 50% heritable, it is common that the abuser has some type of obsessive compulsive disorder, habits come from an unconscious mind.   They have pyschiatric disorder which need to be dealt with empathy from a professional, having patience and being persistent with them is a must.  

Each individual that is dealing with substance dependency needs one on one counseling because each one is different, their personal relationships are crucial to their recovery.   

Anniversaries...

Today is Osvaldo's second year anniversary of his death, I took the time to write because he will be always a part of my life, yes even after death.  His memory will be forever engraved in my heart, our son is older and more and more he looks like him...yes Osvaldo will live on through him.  I celebrate his life by living it and enjoying the time I have been allowed to spend with our son, the love of my life.

Osvaldo Acosta: Heartbreak

Osvaldo Acosta: Heartbreak: No one can imagine the pain and heartbreak of a loved one committing suicide, on top of that finding them in that  state.  I wish no one tha...

Heartbreak

No one can imagine the pain and heartbreak of a loved one committing suicide, on top of that finding them in that  state.  I wish no one that torture, it will forever be engraved in my heart and I live with it daily.  Really there is hurt, despair, anger and breaking up of relationships due to the immense conflicts of emotions caused by suicide. There is a lot of pointing fingers, of "what if's", why's and in the end there is no answer because everyone has their own feelings and dealing with it is very personal for each loved one.
As for me it has been devastating yet God has carried me through till now.  I know Osvaldo is sleeping, he is very much resting for the day we meet again. Even though my heart will no longer be the same I am who I am because of Osvaldo, that I say thank you!

Osvaldo Acosta: SUICIDE

Osvaldo Acosta: SUICIDE: The first thing I want to say is that I loved Osvaldo Acosta with all my heart, I wanted to grow old and grey, see our grand kids and die to...

SUICIDE

The first thing I want to say is that I loved Osvaldo Acosta with all my heart, I wanted to grow old and grey, see our grand kids and die together.  I know, the word "suicide" can clear a room or silence it in a second, it is not a very easy subject to talk about.  My late husband killed himself in 2010, a month after our 15 yr. wedding anniversary, he was 50 and I 37.  It has been the hardest thing to deal with, since I was the one that found him. 

Trust me this isn't easy for me to write, it has taken me about 2 years to admit he even committed suicide, people ask me how he died and I say it was an "accident".  It was much easier and less painful than explaining the whole story and reliving it.  

Osvaldo, without going into details of what lead up to his death, had psychological problems which only escalated in the last 2 years of his life.  He was a very loving person, who needed help of which now I know only a professional could of given him.  As a wife, I thought I would be able to fix him but seeing him spiral out of control I sought help but he didn't want it.  I found him dead in our backyard, my life as of then will no longer be the same. 

Nothing will ever be the same for me, nothing.  

OSVALDO ACOSTA

The reason for writing this blog is to bring peace and understanding to this complicated and wonderful thing we call love. Love, a beautiful thing, I was married to Osvaldo for 15 years, we had a wonderful baby boy, life was good.  This blog is in memory of my late husband, he always wanted to one day to have his name in something, like the paper or via internet and now well he is.